She's Got Issues
by Melanie Yo
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. This fiction is for fun not profit. It contains mature themes and implied yaoi! If it offends you, then don't read it!
Pairing: 5XR, implied 1+2, implied 1xR
Warning: lemony badness, possibly OOC
"It's been three weeks since I caught my husband kissing another man in our library." I said looking at my bestfriend Hilde's concerned face."I'm fine. It's not a big deal. Heero and I will work it out." Hilde nodded solemnly at my words. I knew that Catherine had told her and Noin all the details. I didn't mind though. It'd save me the trouble of having to tell them. As much as I needed words of comfort I hated when people pitied me. Being a Peacecraft meant not being able to admit weakness. I'm not going to let Duo ruin my marriage, but I'm not going to let Heero get off scot free either. No, I have a plan! A little revenge Relena style! I'm going to beat him at his own game. I know a certain Chinese gundam fighter who has a crush on me. This will get Heero's attention!
Ok Relena there's no turning back now, you’re here. I was nervous as I rang the bell to Wufei's apartment. I shivered in the cold hallway, I was still damp from the obligatory April rain as I waited. I was listening for the sound of foot steps. I had to fight the urge to run. Something about Wufei just gives me the creeps. I decided I didn't want to do this. I turned to leave, but before I could get down the hall the door was open. I kept walking hoping maybe he wouldn't recognize me. "Relena, is that you?" I heard Wufei say. I turned to see Wufei leaning in the doorway. His black hair was slicked back in that annoying rat sized pony tail he always wears. His black eyes were focused unblinkingly on the cleavage my red dress exposed. He didn't seem to care that I noticed. He shoved his hands into his black trousers and continued to stare at my breasts. I realized that I would have to talk to end his stare down at the 'the twins', because I had a feeling they'd look away before he would. "Hello Wufei." I said in my sultriest voice. Uggh that was quite possibly the world's worst attempt at seduction. Hello Wufei, oh yeah that'll rev his engine right up. "What brings you to my door Relena?" he said not raising his gaze. "I just thought I'd stop by and say hi, since I moved to town recently." Ugh he's a pig! Well two can play that game! I 'd give him the same 'piece of meat treatment' he was giving me. But the view wasn't as good for me, he's Wufei. He looked like an oily wannabe moffia member in the white tank top and black trousers, the weird hairstyle didn't help either. I don't know if I can sleep with him, he's so... so... Wufei!
I crinkled my nose and he arched his eyebrows at me. "Wanna come in?"
"Don't mind if I do," I said, crossing the thresh hold. There was no going back now.
I put the plan into motion and I'm not going to back down now, Peacecrafts aren't quitters! I slid off my black wrap and revealed the rest of my skimpy red dress. I slipped my stillettos off and set them next to the door. Wufei smiled and let out a low whistle. "I gather from that dress that you're either hookin' now to make ends meet or you're not here to talk."
I blushed. It never fails me how blunt Heero and his friends can be. The first time Heero and I were together he said 'So are we going to do this or what? I have a report to type.' Wufei smiled and walked over to his liquor cabinet. He poured us both doubles of scotch. He handed me mine with a large wolf like smile, "Here looks like you could use this." I nodded. I began to wish I hadn't come here, that I had beat Duo Maxwell to a pulp, and that I had worn underwear. But it was a little late for all of that now. Now it was time to take my medicine, and I had the distinct feeling that Wufei would be a hard pill to swallow.
"So which is it?" He said lewdly.
"Which do you think." I said as I finished the scotch. I clanked the ice around in my glass as I held it out to him. I figured if I'm gonna do this, at least I can get hammered, then maybe I'd forget everything. He took my glass and refilled it. I downed it while he watched me. It was as if he was sizing me up. I held the glass out again and he took it. He set it down and fished out an ice cube and offered it to me. I took it into my mouth and sucked on it. He smiled wider. As if my response was all that he had been waiting for he closed the distance between us and pulled me against him.
He pulled me into a rough sloppy kiss. It was like a huge wet vacuum cleaner was trying to detach my mouth and jaw. God is it even possible for someone's mouth to be this big? Then to my shock and horror it got worse he slid his tongue in. He stuck his tongue farther and farther into my mouth, until I swear it detached and began licking it's way toward my colon. This has to be the most horrible kiss in the history of man. When he finally detached himself from my face I was so starved for air (because his tongue had blocked my airway on it's path toward my colon) that I was amazed I didn't faint. I was disappointed too, if only I'd fainted then he couldn't keep touching me. He smiled and slapped my ass and then pulled me close to him and ground himself against my pelvis.
"You liked that didn't you? You're a dirty girl Relena." he growled when he realized my lack of clothing.
I blushed. He pulled, me with him to the couch and began to lick my neck. It felt like a Saint Bernard had started lapping my flesh! My god his tongue had to be the size of a bath towel! My neck felt slimy and wet. This had to be the lowest moment of my life. When he began to devour my ear I had to fight the urge to scream and hit him. He slid his hand under my skirt and between my legs. Finally ! Something he can't possibly botch. After only a few seconds of his spastic hand movements I realized I was wrong! He was just as bad with his hands as he was with his tongue and mouth. I must've made some noise because Wufei mistook it for a pleasurable sound and kept digging his nails inside my vagina. It felt like he was giving me a pelvic exam.
"Mmm you like that Lena? 'S good isn't it mmmm." Wufei said as he moved from my poor left ear to the right. A trail of saliva dripped from my ear to my shoulder and made me jump.
"I know it's good but don't go that quick, we've got a long time to do this. I'm gonna lick every inch of your body, and then I'm gonna fuck you raw! " he growled as he began to suck way to hard on my neck.
I just couldn't take it anymore! I pushed him off of me and pulled my dress down. Wufei pulled away with a startled look.
"I can't do this! God it's disguting! Don't touch me!" I ran out his apartment so fast I didn't grab my purse, wrap, or shoes. I just had to get away.
Meanwhile back at Wufei's......
"Yeah, Heero. This is Wufei."
"Hey Wufei."
"Relena was here just like you thought."
"And did you do it?"
"Yeah I did everything you asked. And more, but listen you need to tell your wife to clean her ears better. I don't mind being the gross tongue guy who eats people's faces and nearly chokes them with his tongue, but man she had ear wax problems."
"Heh, Wufei, you're a good friend."
"I'm a fucking saint man, she wasn't wearing under wear."
"No under wear huh? She must've been planning to go all the way."
"Yup."
"Well hopefully your bad sexual techniques will teach her a lesson."
"You're one to talk Heero. Quatre told me you did some very risque things to Duo."
"Heh, yeah I guess I did. Hey you should come by for dinner tonight. I'm sure Relena would love to have you again!"
"Heh! Heero you're an ass!"
"How does six thirty sound?"
"I'll be there with bells on!"
End
I felt his limpness against my thigh...