Being Jewish: Religion or Culture?

Like I've said before, I was raised Atheist. The first time I sat foot in a synagogue I was 16. It was one of those old-fashioned places where the women sat in a gated enclosure, separate from the men, and far removed from the "action". It was quite a turn off. Nevertheless, when I came to the United States, I made many attempts to learn more and/or join in. After all, this was the religion of my ancestors. I've gone to various synagogues. I've tried going to meetings in college. I was, again, turned off, this time by the way I was looked down on by the American jews, who've had the privelege of learning from childhood the rituals and traditions I was trying to learn and understand. But the last, and the biggest turn off came when I started doing research on this religion. It seems to be a duality-based, creationist religion. Duality means the separation of the world/universe/nature into opposites: good and evil, right and wrong, God pleasing and sinful, soul and body, male and female... as a Pantheist, I don't believe in such separatness. Nor do I believe in Creation/Creator, the supreme being who put us here for some reason and gave us a set of rules. I believe that God(dess)=Universe=Nature=everything there is... in other words, I am God(dess), just not all of it/her. Through series of painful changes (rebirths? identity crisis?), I discover more and more of who I am, thus making/discovering my own rules. But what about Spinoza? Hasn't he studied the various Jewish texts, and interpreted them as having a Pantheist meaning? Yes, and I can see his point. But go try to find a community of Jews who agree with such an interpretation, and/or live according to it. Judaism is a tradition-based lifestyle. Things are done in a certain way mostly for the sole reason that that's how they were always done. In his time, Spinoza was excommunicated from the Jewish community. In our time, I prefer to say that I am a Pantheist lhp witch with Jewish ancestors. For now, at least.