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Trowa joins the circus, but this isn't the one from the show. Who is the mysterious blond boy the manager is keeping hidden in his trailer, and why is no one allowed to speak with him?
Trowa's Point of View Author's note: this is definintly not the circus from the series, trust me. |
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Circus
If you were to ask me today I probably still wouldn't be able to explain why I joined the circus. I'm still not sure what exactly led me there, perhaps I was bored and wanted something new. Perhaps fate placed her hand on my shoulder and pushed me in that direction. Perhaps it was just chance. Or perhaps he called to me. Whatever the reason I found myself, on that stormy evening, standing inside the large tent with my duffel bag slung over my shoulder as I faced the manager. The manager, who was currently holding my poor excuse for a resume, was a large man dressed in bright red show clothes. His thick brown hair curled tightly around his face and a thick mustache climbed up from his nose. His dark brown eyes glanced from the yellowed paper full of my neat scrawlings to my face, scrutinizing my blank and emotionless expression. I remained silent as he fiddled with his mustache, waiting. "Very impressive range of skills, but this paper shows me nothing." He shoved the paper back into my hands and placed his own on his hips, in an attempt to look intimidating. "Prove to me why I should hire you." A different person would have frowned or stopped to think but I had expected this, and already had an idea of what to do. Without a pause I set down my duffel bag and the paper under it so it wouldn't blow away, then walked past the manager to the lion's cage against the other end of the tent. The huge cat growled at me and padded around the cage, staking out its territory visibly. Taking a deep yet silent breath I stopped next to the cage and slid my arm through the bars. "You stupid boy!" The manager raced toward my side to pull me back, but I held up a hand, causing him to stop a few feet away. My eyes still on the pacing cat I knelt down slowly and turned my hand so the palm faced up. I fixed my eyes on the lion and just watched him carefully. Animals don't listen to words; they watch one's eyes, just like me. So I knew how to communicate with them, at least to an extent. Widening my eyes slightly I concentrated on placing my feelings in my eyes for him to see. I won't hurt you, I promise. Trust me. That's the expression I tried to let into my eyes. I've never practiced this in the mirror but it usually works when I want to, so I just knelt there, my hand outstretched and waiting patiently. Beyond me the lion stopped pacing and just regarded me quietly for a moment. Then it seemed to make up its mind and began to approach me. It walked all the way to my side of the cage but didn't touch my hand. Instead it dropped onto the ground and rolled onto its back, showing me its stomach. Ah, the true sign of a cat seeing if you are worthy of its trust. Slowly and carefully I moved my hand through the bars, ignoring the large cat's stomach. Instead I moved my hand to his ears and dug my fingers into the thick fur, scratching him under his mane. Immediately the cat's eyes slid shut and it began a low purr. I'd passed the test by not trying to pet its stomach right away; I'd earned its friendship. "Amazing... Catherine come look at this." The manager knelt down beside me and watched with wide eyes as I stroked my fingers through the thick mane, all the while the lion purring like the friendliest little kitten. From the corner of my eyes I could see a young girl step into the tent dressed in a sparkling performance outfit. The outfit was designed just right to show off her mature figure yet also give you the impression of innocence, making her seem like she was still a child. The single golden star hanging from her left ear sparkled in the tent's lamplight as she paused at the doorway, her mouth dropping open. "He doesn't even let the feeder touch him like that," she whispered in wonder as she approached us. Her voice rang out like soft bells, truly the voice of trained innocence. She approached us and looked down at me, her hands on her hips. "Just who are you?" I pulled my hands from the cage and stood up, averting my eyes from her face after one quick glance. "Trowa Barton." Beside me the manager stood up and flashed a broad grin. "No need to be shy now. This is Catherine Bloom, our resident knife thrower and acrobat. Catherine, this is Trowa, our new animal caretaker." I resisted the urge to smile. I'd been hired. Instead I glanced at Catherine and nodded a greeting to her. "You don't talk much do you Trowa?" I shook my head, no. She smiled. "Well, that'll probably change as you know us better. No worries." "Catherine, do you mind showing him around the tents?" "No trouble at all. He can share my trailer until we get another free one. Come on Trowa, this way." Catherine led me out of the tent and the manager followed us for a while until we came to the small clusters of trailers behind the tents, at which point he stopped and headed off toward his own trailer. I paused and let Catherine walk on chattering about nothing in particular. The manager approached his trailer and the door opened for him, the figure of a small boy standing in the little doorway. I couldn't help but stare as the boy moved to the side and let the manager into the trailer. Even though I only saw him for a second the image managed to burn itself in my mind. The boy was young, or at least he looked young. Unlike Catherine the innocence that showed in his body and manner was not practiced, it was natural. Golden blond hair glimmered in the dim trailer light while deep blue eyes sparkled with smiles all their own. He glanced at me for a mere second then quickly shut the door, leaving me to stare at the cheap artificial wood. Who was he? Behind me I felt Catherine grab my shoulder and yank me toward the trailer. Pulling me in quickly she pushed the door shut and regarded me with a serious expression. "Trowa, if you're going to travel with us there is something you need to learn. Rule number one, that boy does not exist. You can't talk to him, even if he talks to you, understand?" I open my mouth to protest but pause. This wasn't the time to ask, I was a new person in their group and I had no right. "Understood," I mutter quietly and dismiss all my questions for later. Better not to jeopardize my position, since they could dismiss me at any time. Her expression lightened and she dropped down onto the couch against the wall of the long trailer. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. You just need to understand that we don't speak to him, no matter what. Speaking to him is a surefire way of disappearing." I raised an eyebrow. "Disappearing?" She laughed. "No, not like murder or death or anything, silly. No, you just get kicked out, that's all. It's hard to explain and I barely know anything about it, don't even know the kid's name really." She shrugged. "But we aren't allowed to talk to him, no matter what. I wouldn't suggest breaking that rule." I nodded and set my duffel bag down on the floor near the couch. "I won't." "Good, you can have the couch for right now since it's the only place to sleep at the moment, unless you want to share the bed." I could see the hopefulness in her face but I shook my head. "I won't intrude." She stood up and shrugged. "Suit yourself." With that she walked toward the back of the trailer and pulled the thin pink curtain to cover the room. "Night Trowa." "Night." But I didn't sleep well that night. Every time I closed my eyes I could see his form standing in that lit doorway. The entire image was surreal, making him look like some glowing angel amidst a sea of normalcy. He was beautiful, the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen and I didn't understand it. Rolling over in the couch I sighed and tried to sleep once more. But still the image haunted me. Who was he? ** "Trowa!" About a month later I glanced up from the large bucket I was cleaning out. I was dressed in the clown suit they'd supplied me with for working around the circus. For the last month my jobs had consisted of feeding and caring for the animals and occasionally being the clown Catherine threw her knives at during performances. Apparently I was the only one in the entire troupe who didn't flinch when she threw them so I immediately got that job as well. I'd gotten along pretty well, most of the troupe counting me as one of their own in no time. As for the boy I saw him very rarely, usually only in fleeting glimpses of golden blond hair when I passed by the manager's trailer or around the tents during the day. Any time I saw him it was only for a few seconds, and yet when ever I noticed him his eyes were set on me, almost as if he were following me around and watching me. Still, remembering Catherine's warning, I never approached the boy. The few times I saw him I simply nodded in his direction and went back to my business. I don't know if he knew I saw, but every time I acknowledged his presence and then went back to work his expression changed to one of sadness. He looked so lonely, and yet he always had this childish smile on his face. I didn't understand it. My thoughts were on the strange boy when Catherine came rushing into the tent calling my name. I stopped washing the bucket and looked up at her in question. "We need you in the animal tent. The lions are acting up!" I stood and left the bucket forgotten, racing to the lions' tent at a hurried pace. It wasn't out of panic that I ran, but merely out of necessity. Lions were naturally dangerous creatures and I didn't want anyone in the troupe to do anything stupid that would result in someone's injury. It was my job to take care of the lions, and protect them from the humans in the troupe who didn't know how to handle them. I arrived at the tent a few minutes later to find a sizeable group surrounding the animals and trying to get them to calm down. A day ago the circus had purchased a second lion, a female. Predictably they'd placed them in the same tent in cages right next to each other. I frowned. "Everyone out!" The group looked up at me in worry but did not move. "Everyone out, there are too many people!" Many opened their mouths to protest but Catherine stepped into the tent behind me and glared at them. "He means it, get out." The entire group listened to Catherine and left the tent, sending me wary glances. No doubt they thought I was going to do something stupid that would result in my losing a limb. They may have accepted me as one of their group, but they still didn't completely trust my friendship with their animals. I glanced to Catherine as the last of them left the tent. "You want me to leave too?" I nodded and she left without complaint. Unlike her fellow circus members she trusted me completely. I watched her leave the tent then turned my attention to the two large cats padding around their cages. Since the group had left they'd stopped growling at each other but they were still pacing around their cages toward the back. As if... As if they were trying to protect something. Carefully I approached the cages, placing out my hands in a gesture of friendship and innocence. I once again filled my eyes with my feelings but it wasn't the lions I was trying to communicate with. By their actions there seemed to be someone else still in the tent. Lions don't usually act so strange on their own, and they especially react to the way the humans around them are acting. Which meant that if they were still nervous when everyone else was gone then someone else was in the tent, someone who was still worried. I approached the lions' cages and slipped my hands through the bars slowly. "I won't hurt you." I said softly. Yet I knew the lions weren't listening to my voice, cats don't do that. I hoped that whoever else was in the tent would catch that I was actually talking to them. "See?" I said as one of the lions moved forward and timidly licked my hand. "Harmless. I wouldn't hurt a fly." Behind me I heard movement, the straw covered ground shifting under light footsteps, but I didn't move. I still faced the lions and pretended not to notice the one standing behind me. Instead I leaned forward and began rubbing the back of one of the lions while the other eyed whoever was behind me. After a few moments I stood up and slowly turned. Immediately the one behind me retreated behind a stack of crates, yet I caught a glimpse of him before he disappeared. It was the boy from the manager's trailer. I glanced to the tent flap to make sure it was closed, yet I could still hear the group standing outside. They were still waiting to hear one of the lions roar or someone scream. Carefully I approached the crates. "Stop," came his quiet voice, sounding like a sweet summer breeze. Just like the image of the boy's unearthly beauty, his voice immediately imprinted itself in my mind and I actually ached for him to speak more. I didn't care what he said; I just wanted to hear his voice again. "I won't hurt you," I whispered softly. "You aren't supposed to talk to me. You'll get in trouble." His voice quivered with a child-like fear. True fear. "No one is here." I stepped up next to the crates and past them, turning my head to look at the boy. There he sat next to the crates, dressed in loose clothing that served to hide his figure in smooth waves of shimmering silk. He sat on the straw covered floor, hugging his knees and watching me with those amazing blue eyes, fear and curiosity battling in the depths. I knelt down before him and laid out my hands as I had with the lions, showing in a gesture that I meant no harm. All the while I tried not to stare at him. He was beautiful, nay magnificent, in the dim light. He truly did resemble a small angel. "I won't hurt you, I promise," I whispered softly. His shining blue eyes traveled over me and finally settled on my empty hands, then moved back to my face. "You won't tell I was here?" I shook my head, no. "Why would I?" He shifted slightly where he sat but didn't move otherwise. "I'm not supposed to leave the trailer, he'll be mad." "He's not in the trailer now, he's in the main tent. I can help you back to his trailer without anyone noticing." His eyes widened slightly and he looked at me, the confusion very apparent in his face. "Why would you help me?" "Because you're beautiful." I answered without thinking, but apparently that was the wrong thing to say. The confusion dropped out of the boy's face and he looked away, his expression visibly wilting. Sadness marred his lovely face and he stood up, avoiding my eyes. I had obviously hurt him but I didn't understand how, what had I done? Was he ashamed of his beauty? "Stay here, let me get rid of the others." The boy nodded and I stood up, heading back for the tent flap where everyone waited. "Trowa?" Catherine looked at me in question and the others stared, as if amazed that I still had all my limbs. Oh yea of little faith. "They've calmed down now," I said quietly. I guarded my words and my expression carefully, making sure I didn't give any clues to the fact that the boy was actually back hiding in the tent. "What caused it?" The fatman looked at me in confusion, the worry still apparent on his face. I could tell he was still worried about them attacking, but then he had always been afraid of the lions. I directed my attention to the group, frowning just slightly. "Whoever placed them in the cages made the mistake. You can't have two animals of different gender that close to each other and yet in different cages. They need to be placed in the same cage or in different tents where they can not see each other." Catherine frowned. "But if we place them in the same cage they'll breed." I shrugged. "They will get along better if they are in the same cage." She nodded. "I'll talk to the manager about it. In the mean time," she turned her attention back to the others. "I want the female moved to another tent." The group voiced their agreement and headed with Catherine into the tent to help move the animal. Carefully, and stealthily, I left the group and rounded the tent until I was about at the spot outside where the crates were. Kneeling down I undid the hook holding that particular part of the tent down and lifted it slightly. I was greeted with the sight of a very scared and yet surprised young boy. "This way," I whispered as softly as I could. He stood up almost immediately and crawled beneath the tent wall, letting it drop back into place behind him. I took his hand, marveling silently at the amazing softness of his skin, and led him toward the trailers. He followed me in silence as we ducked from tent to tent until we came to the trailers. He started to pull away from me and walk toward the manager's trailer when I saw a glint of movement. Quickly I grabbed his hand and yanked him backward, pulling us both against the side of the trailer as Catherine passed. Luckily she didn't seem to notice, instead she kept walking to her trailer and finally the door shut behind her. I let go of the boy and frowned as I realized I'd been holding his wrists so tight I'd made them slightly red. I immediately felt horrible. "I'm sorry," I murmured. His eyes met mine and I was transfixed, all I could do was stand there and stare into those amazing aquamarine orbs. Then I realized he was smiling at me. "Thank you," he whispered. I was scarcely able to nod as he turned and raced up to the door, sneaking into the trailer without a sound. Not a moment too soon either since just as the door shut the manager rounded the main tent, headed straight for his trailer. I ducked into the shadows and he gave no indication of seeing me. Instead I just watched him head straight for the trailer. The door opened as he reached it and from where I stood I could see the boy smile lightly at him. "Welcome back." The manager grunted a reply and stepped into the trailer, a single hand snatching up the boy's wrist and then the door shut and I heard the click of the lock, followed by silence. Silently, and making sure I stayed in the shadows, I made my way back toward Catherine's trailer. Yet, I couldn't forget that sight. There was just something wrong about the way the boy had smiled at the manager, something fake about it. And his eyes had almost seemed to tremble with fear. Not to mention that I didn't like how his hand had clasped around the boy's wrist. There was just something foreboding about that movement, something that hinted at things best not asked. Things normal people didn't want to know about. As I lay on the couch that night trying to sleep all I could think about was the boy. All I could wonder about was what went on in that trailer after the door shut out the rest of the world. I finally fell asleep with the image of his trembling and fearful eyes very vivid in my mind. Sleep that night was fitful and nightmare ridden.
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